Day Two Hundred & Forty-two: 9/25/2023
I’m sitting and contemplating about the day. I’m alone in the breakroom with only my thoughts as I wait for my coworkers to join me. I’m not saying anything super eventful occurred, but I’ve been allowing myself to just sit and think when I have any downtime.
I’m thinking about the mess that I had to vacuum throughout the building. There definitely was some trash discarded on the floor. When I have to spend over an hour vacuuming I’m always curious how each piece of paper, each wrapper, and every blade of grass came to be on the carpet. I’m just the fairy that has to ensure that the fibers are clear before the next day.
I also heard some crazy gossip today. Not sure I should be posting about it, but oh well. It’s not like I have a lot of viewers for my weekly blog. It’s a shame, I think it’s pretty funny. Well, I found out about the budgetary constraints the school is dealing with. Like, wow! I’m quite curious how you go over budget by over a quarter of a million dollars!?! As someone with a business background, that is a major mistake. A catastrophe in planning and monitoring. Isn’t there someone in the administration that keeps track of budgets across all the departments? Such an error will have to be rectified in some way.
The conversation I had about the financial struggles of the school also brought forth a conversation about the duplicitous administrators. Those that have caused other faculty to quit. Their prediction is that we will lose more by the end of the calendar year. I honestly haven’t heard anything kind about this person. I find that very telling. Even though they’ve been nice to me, they have a horrible reputation amongst the staff.
Day Two Hundred & Forty-three: 9/26/2023
I’m rocking a very tealful attire this Tuesday. Granted I’m usually decked out in teal, but when the only thing on me that isn’t teal are my socks, then it’s definitely a tealful day. I’m also having fun with this hairstyle. It’s almost as if I have bangs. Though, there’s no way that I could really pull off bangs. I think that’s why I have so much fun changing my hairstyles each day. Instead of making a change that’s irreversible.
Other than my look, it’s a normal sort of day. I’m still contemplating my time in this position. I’d like to have some more money and there’s no way that I’m going to get that as a custodian. My writing doesn’t provide enough income to live independently off my art. I have to have a job that pays the bills, but I don’t have to be completely poor.
I really thought something would go viral. Either my blog, my Instagram, or even my tik tok. Except, I still feel sort of invisible. Not to the kids here, they’re obsessed with me. At least that’s what I’m told. I prefer to keep it that way if I can.
I’m working with this belief that if I just keep working then something will happen. Dedication to the craft will lead me to my desires. I just can’t give up, which is so hard. That doesn’t mean I have to keep working jobs that don’t pay. I know I can make more money if I try to find something more lucrative. For now, The Teal Fairy will continue to flutter around the halls of Denver School of the Arts.
Day Two Hundred & Forty-four: 9/27/2023
Sitting down after finishing everything and I’m not feeling so disgruntled against the messes that the kids leave behind. Something is definitely different this year. There seems to be more of an awareness. I don’t have to spend an hour and a half vacuuming useless trash all over the carpeted areas. I’m appreciative of the change.
I’m not saying that I’m satisfied with my current situation. I cried again today. I cried for the person inside of me that has all of this passion. All of this drive to make Denver my home. Though I’ve met some wonderful people and there’s apparently so much to do in this city. I’m unsatisfied. I don’t feel fulfilled with the job and barely have time to work on my craft. It isn’t enough for me, I ache for more. I just don’t know how to get it.
One of these days I’ll get to be a full time artist that does other activities on the side for enjoyment. For now I have to keep showing up to a job that gives me little joy. When I see myself as The Teal Fairy, I can at least dissociate for a short amount of time. Those are the times that my imagination takes me away from the servitude.
Day Two Hundred & Forty-five: 9/28/2023
Sometimes I wish I understood the kids' thought process. They have so much talent and skills, but when I walk into a room and there are literal wrappers, food containers, or utensils on the floor I’m flabbergasted. Absolutely astonished that they can be so profound but so disrespectful to the classrooms. I suppose this is what I get when I give praise this week. I’m not saying every room is junked out with trash. I think I would walk out and quit if that was the case. However, in a handful of rooms today I was disappointed with the state of these spaces.
Other than that, it’s the same old thing on a different day. Day by day I have to tidy up, wipe, and scrub as if it was the first day again. Though I wouldn’t mind moving all of the furniture to properly clean again. Except, there’s no time for that. Oh well, they can sit in their dirty squaller until we can deep clean. Sometimes, they will actually stack the chairs and move the desks for me. I love when they do that!
At the end of the night there is downtime for me to work on this here blog. It's a short amount of time that I get to reflect on the day and ponder what’s next for my writing career. I’ve recently come to understand that I’m unsatisfied in my current role. As I’ve mentioned before I thought my social media would have blown up to a point where I could have a platform to promote my books and writing. Only, it hasn’t and I’m extremely unsatisfied being a custodian writing books that no one will read. I’m not even sure who’s reading this, but if you are, I thank you. A few eyes are better than none I suppose.
Day Two Hundred & Forty-six: 9/29/2023
It’s Friday! I made it another week! Another week where I didn’t quit. I’m joking but serious simultaneously. I struggle to get myself to work each and every day. I’d rather be staying at home and working on my writings. Rather than performing my menial tasks to ensure that the space stays spic and span.
On another note, I had a moment where I had to be stern with a set of students. Not something I enjoy. The moment that I have to be an adult I feel like the illusion of The Teal Fairy is broken. Except, I might be the only one that believes themselves to be an authentic fairy that flutters around the school. Anyway, the school was hosting their annual block party and everyone was instructed to leave the school after 4pm. Well, sometime around 5ish there were a group of girls running down the hall. Nothing super mischievous, but the school is not a playground. Especially when I’m trying to CLEAN IT! So, I had to raise my voice and bring attention to their errors. It’s not the person I want to be, but sometimes or all the times the students need a firm disciplinary tone to shift their attention.
Other than that, I made it through the day and I’ll get to have 48 hours away from the institution. Having the weekends off is one of my primary pros to maintain my position with the school. If I had to work Saturday or Sunday then I’d resign as quickly as I can spell TEAL.
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