Day One Hundred & Forty-seven: 5/1/2023
I had anxiety as I was getting ready today. I was not sure what fueled the feelings, but I was so hesitant to come to work. I suppose my inner eye was aware of what I was going to deal with today. I’m quite exhausted.
Apparently, we don’t have the funds to continue to employ one of our temporary custodians. So, here we are again. Fucking short staffed. Thanks public funding! What was the point of training this young girl, if they were going to pull her before she even worked a full month.
Well, it means that the remaining employees for the Denver School of the Arts have to muddle through all of the tasks. It’s such a pain, but here we are.
My day was long and I was glad when it was over.
Day One Hundred & Forty-eight: 5/2/2023
I got to see a little bit of rehearsal for a major event this week. The entire theater crew has been working on the setup. There is a whole lighting and smoke show. It’s going to be quite the spectacle when it comes down to it. I only watched it for just a moment. I had a minute to pop my head in and observe from the balcony.
It sounds so silly, but I’m thrilled that they are making some updates to the bathrooms. It started with repainting the stalls, and now the walls have been freshly painted a medium gray. It’s going to be quite lovely when it’s all done. These spaces really needed a refresh, but it is out of my scope of work to fulfill such duties. So, I’m grateful there is a team that is taking care of this.
Day One Hundred & Forty-nine: 5/3/2023
I’ve made it through half the week! I’ve been actively working on a collection of short stories for a year now. This has taken all of my extra time and mental strength. I occupy every waking moment with this collection. I’m down to the last five stories to complete the collection. I’m giving myself until the end of the month. Then, I’ll spend June working on the formatting and final edits. Well, this week I’ve been experiencing a little bit of a crisis. In fact, I generally experience this crisis every Monday and Tuesday. I grow extremely concerned that I don’t have any more creative juices. If the stories aren’t flowing as I prefer I become very concerned and agitated.
To curtail these feelings I’ve spent my free time chatting with other artists in the school. Commiserating with other fellow artists is always the best medicine. I spoke with my friend Aimee who is a very amazing visual artist and my friend Cory, he is an extremely talented puppeteer and designer. They refresh my senses and remind me that I just have to keep putting in the work.
Day One Hundred & Fifty: 5/4/2023
I was feeling a little bit overwhelmed today. My financial security stresses me out regularly. I have a job that pays my rent and I have the ability to live comfortably, but there’s no room for anything else. Even mental healthcare. This wave of emotion has made it difficult to focus at work. Luckily, the tasks aren’t too difficult. At least regularly. Though, I can admit that I’m giving my bare minimum. I’ve got five short stories to finish and the fear of failing is causing me to spiral emotionally.
Day One Hundred & Fifty-one: 5/5/2023
¡Feliz Cinco De Mayo! I wish I could have enjoyed a margarita today, instead I had to deal with every type of bodily function of a human being. Ugh!
I had a very hard week. I had a mental block the didn’t allow me to think beyond the tasks at hand. I made it to my job and I was able to give my bare minimum. I ended up having a very fabulous weekend and I’m hoping the little break from the writing and thinking is what I need. Here's to a better week!
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