I suppose I should formally introduce The Teal Fairy. Not a teal fairy, The Teal Fairy. They’ve become my alter ego, and as of lately. The Teal Fairy is the only persona that I’m willing to present to the world. Legally, still Craig. I tell people when I meet them that they can call me Craig or The Teal Fairy. I identify and answer to both.
Now, I’m not quite sure when The Teal Fairy came to be. It’s been a few years. Gosh, maybe more than five years perhaps. Yeah, I feel that when I first dyed my hair teal, the fairy was able to truly show themselves. I’ve called myself a fairy many times. I’ve also been called a fairy by others, fondly and maliciously. Then, the whole teal thing happened. I slowly started to acquire teal garments and décor. I turned around one day and majority of my belongings were teal. So, I leaned into it.
In the past, I’ve relied on The Teal Fairy to be my shield. My super hero cape. Only needed The Teal Fairy from time to time. It wasn’t an entity that I needed daily. Except, I needed them to deal with the pandemic. I leaned on The Teal Fairy to keep the positive attitude. The flirty, fluttery, and fictitious persona I needed to get me through those hard days at the restaurant. I used The Teal Fairy too much, but they were my guard against a hard situation.
When, I moved to Denver, I thought I wasn’t going to need The Teal Fairy to fight my battles, but every time I went out or I went to the gym. It wasn’t me. I mean, it was, and it is, but it wasn’t. The Teal Fairy doesn’t give a fuck. They exist and we should all be grateful. The Teal Fairy only wants to bring joy to this world. They’re fascinated by others and has a problem staring at others. Yet, they still give no fucks.
I moved to Denver to work a creative job, away from the general public. Unfortunately, the business failed. It failed miserably. I have no desire to rehash or review the circumstances. It’s over and I’ve had to move on.
I REFUSED to go back into the service industry. I couldn’t put myself through that again. I feel like I barely survived the last stint. I deserve better. So, that career option was out. Well, if things ever get really bad, I’d have to go back. I applied to over FORTY applications for a remote executive assistant position. Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Couldn’t get an interview. Most of the time, I was passed up in the first round. What are you gonna do?
No, like…what are you gonna do?
I did some major soul searching and I cataloged what type of job I was willing to handle. I wanted a job that I didn’t find challenging. Writing and storytelling, that’s my challenge. I want to be writing full time, but I’m not a famous writer yet. I didn’t want to be challenged daily just to pay my bills. So, like I do…I leaned into a trope. Actually, first I need to mention how many schools are in my area. As a child brought up by a teacher. I’m very well aware of the institutions of education. I have NO desire to be an educator. I’m always willing to clean. So, I thought, could I be the knowing and interesting janitor trope at a school? Why not? It’s a legitimate line of work. Respectable, but lowkey. Also, the job wouldn’t disappear in a matter of months.
So, this little fairy applied to a part-time custodian job with the Denver Public School system. Within days I was scheduled for an interview. Unfortunately, the day that I had the interview was a day in March that resembled Arctic Frost. The temperature was less than twenty degrees Fahrenheit, the wind was blowing about thirty miles per hour, and I rode a bike four miles. I gave myself an hour to get there and it took almost that amount of time. I layered as best as I could, but I was riding a nineteen sixty-six Firestone bicycle. I call her Gladys. I was shocked that we were able to make it to Denver East Highschool. There was a minor blizzard occuring when I arrived. My beard was a solid block of ice. The interview process was different compared to any other interview I’ve ever had in my life. I was surprised but not shocked that I needed to complete a competency test. I didn’t expect to retake the PSAT. I spent almost forty-five minutes completing a competency test. I scored a fourteen-fifty. Nine hundred was required for the job. I thought nothing of it. The interview went well and I biked back into the snow storm.
How do I put this…
Um, onboarding for a school system has been the most INEFFICIENT experience of my entire life. We are talking from the moment that I was taught how to manage the landscaping of my house when I was eight years old, compared to my professional experience. Before my start date I was told that I would have to attend a Housekeeping Training course. Everyone and anyone that was employed in the custodial staff had to complete this course. No EXCEPTIONS! Well, this course was only available in person at a specific school.
As I was instructed, I went to my school; Denver School of the Arts, and then I was supposed to attend the training at Denver North High School. The distance between the two was about ten miles. Google maps said the trip would take an hour. Well, surprise! I was able to bike the entire way within fifty minutes. That included the last ten minutes that were all uphill. I thought my legs were going to fall off my body. Shockingly, they didn’t, but you know what?!
The class had been canceled. No one told me!
The housekeeping course had been rescheduled two weeks later. So, I started working a job that I wasn’t trained for, but you know what?! I figured it out. Well, I should say The Teal Fairy figured it out. While at work I dress in a teal outfit and I put bows in my hair and flutter around the school. I let Craig fantasize and world build while the Teal Fairy dusts, sweeps, mops, vacuums, and cleans toilets. I completely dissociate, because I worked very hard to get a college education and I tried so hard to be a business professional.
Once I discovered that I have to be an artist to be happy, it’s my only prerogative. Everything outside of the my dreams is just canon fodder. I’m determined to be a famous writer. I’m still working on Tristan Graydin’s story, but lately I’ve been working on short stories. I’m submitting them to literary contests. If I don’t win anything, that’s fine, I’ll at least have a collection of short stories. The Teal Fairy Fables. I’m also documenting this journey on Instagram and TikTok. This could all work out, or it could be a flop. Either way, The Teal Fairy gets to exist. That makes me happy. The kids at the school like it too!
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