Day Three Hundred & Seventeen: 2/5/2024
I really don’t think I’m a good employee. I broke another tool today. Do I care that much? Not really, but again I don’t want to be the worst custodian in the building. However, that might be my place. As I pursue my dreams, I’m just here for the paycheck. It was an accident, but I’m feeling a bit guilty that I continue to break school property because of clumsiness or absentmindedness.
Though there is so much broken in the school. Like the 8th grade boys’ bathroom urinal. For some reason the porcelain device leaks constantly. By the end of the day there is a large puddle of piss water accumulated in front of the bathroom entrance. I’ve asked about this numerous times, but I was told there’s nothing that can be done. Unfortunately. It is so messy and gross. Today, someone tried to soak it up. Though I appreciate the effort. The added mess left for me today was more frustrating. I don’t really like having to scoop up soiled cheap paper towels. When I could just clean the bathroom with my powerwasher at the end of the night.
Though I wasn’t the one to cause the leakage, I’m the one responsible for breaking other things. I wonder if it is some subconscious mistake that I make because I’m so over my current profession. I look forward to the day when I’m not covered in piss water at the end of the night, and yes I shower after every shift. One to remove the grime of the day, but to remove The Teal Fairy from my visage.
Day Three Hundred & Eighteen: 2/6/2024
Oh! There’s drama, well, I would say that things are developing. It doesn’t have anything to do with me or my performance as a custodian. Though, it is affecting a good amount of people. Now, I wasn’t aware that there was such a distinctive process when it comes to the firing of staff and teachers. I’m curious if it is a state thing or just a district thing. The point is that some people are being put on the chopping block.
Not just a few, but a good amount of individuals are going to have to interview to try and keep their job. Then, the administration is going to decide who stays and who goes. The drama is that the way that they are going about this process is against the staff’s contract. So, a lot of the staff met tonight and are going to coordinate to send in grievances. I'm actively interested.
This isn’t the first time that I’ve heard issues with administration and the staff. There is some serious animosity between the two sides of the institution. It makes me grateful that the custodial staff is not a part of that same discord. They are always kind to the custodial staff. I think the administration is just appreciative that we continue to show up and perform our duties.
Day Three Hundred & Nineteen: 2/7/2024
Wow! I’m not sure as to why, but the cafeteria was an absolute mess! I would’ve taken a photo, but I decided it was more important to get to work. I hate that I feel like I’m always complaining, but it’s the truth. However, if I walked into the school and it was clean then I would have a different attitude. If there weren’t spills, trash everywhere, all of the chairs pushed in, and no messes then I would be grateful.
So, I typed the first paragraph after I first got to work, and I will say that I’m pleasantly surprised as to how well my area looked today. Generally, I’m so utterly frustrated that I can barely do my job without having the impulse to scream. However, today was different! The bathrooms were not a mess. Most of the classrooms were tolerable to vacuum, and the biggest mess that I encountered were blades of dead grass. Wonderful!
It honestly feels good to say something positive about my day. For the last few months I’ve really been struggling to appreciate the job that I need. So many days I’ve had to muster as much power that I can develop inside my body to push myself to this institution. I know that my job doesn’t compare to the complexities that the teachers and staff encounter, but I’m the one being paid a menial wage to do a menial job. So, which is worse?
I finished my tasks early, and I’m sitting alone. Typing away on my laptop. The one solace that I have for this job is to have the freedom to do such a thing. If I could find another job that allowed me to do such a thing, then I would apply to it without haste. For now, The Teal Fairy continues to show up at the Denver School of the Arts to clean.
Day Three Hundred & Twenty: 2/8/2024
Another day and I would say that the space was excellently presentable for this fairy. Even the cafeteria was acceptable. I was quite pleased with this behavior. If it could sustain until the end of the year then I would be elated. However, I’ve become pessimistically optimistic after the events of the last few years. I want to be hopeful, but I’m more realistic.
On a more theatrical note, I couldn’t figure out which picture to choose for my posting. I tried a couple of poses at the beginning, and I’ve found I prefer the natural light. However, the light fades so quickly during these winter months. Thus, I don't have a lot of time to stand and model. The sooner I capture my Instagram photo, the better. Also, I feel like my appearance looks quite tired as the hour approaches 10pm. So, when I was going down the hallway with my trash, I saw the perfect spotlight. Not too much, but just enough to showcase my perfect eye makeup and the natural light makes my eyes appear turquoise. I felt gorgeous.
I’m hoping that when I’m a famous author I’ll be able to look at these photos fondly. I’ll forget about the messes that I’ve had to deal with. I’ll forget about the lack of a relationship that I have with my immediate coworkers. I’ll remember the moments when I tried to be creative rather than being a custodian. Being creative in this sublimely menial job is my only solace. If I can’t feel like a muse is whispering in my ear, then I’d rather just stop breathing. Sorry for the dramatics, but it’s my truth.
Day Three Hundred & Twenty-one: 2/9/2024
Well, we got our evaluation results. These evaluations come periodically without notice. We’ve been waiting and waiting for this review to come. Thus, we’ve been keeping the space as clean as possible. Even when I’ve had days that I believe I underperformed, I would try and make up for the slack the following day. As I’ve said, I’m not trying to be the best, but I don’t want to be the worst.
Anyway, we didn’t do great on our evaluation. Apparently, better than the one previously. However our score was in the 60s. Not great. However, I don’t care. I don’t care because I’m putting the most that I’m willing to put in. I’m not necessarily willing to put in more effort without some sort of compensation. Sorry, but not sorry. I’m just annoyed that we have these inspections to begin with. This is just another reason why I’m unsatisfied with my current job.
Now, I must preface that I’m COMPLETELY aware that every job has some sort of evaluation process. I get that, however, as a custodian I don’t see the need if an institution is short staffed. Why even evaluate the status of a building when there aren’t enough people to manage it? Is that fair to hold an understaffed team accountable? I’m literally asking for myself. I also might be trying to find more reasons to be indigent about my current profession. At least the week is over!
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