I’m currently working as a custodian for The Denver School of the Arts. I’ve been chronicling my experiences through social media and this blog post. I put a lot of my own complaints and frustrations down, primarily to accurately portray my true experiences. No filter. There are good days of course. One day, this could be sort of a memoir.
I refer to myself as The Teal Fairy because this is a character that I’ve created. I hope to one day write about The Teal Fairy going back to school to protect those that have the potential to grow and flourish. Schools need more fairies over firearms to ensure the safety of the youth. I also use The Teal Fairy persona as my way of expressing myself creatively outside of the written word.
Thank you for joining me on this journey!
Day Three Hundred & Seventy-one: 5/7/2024
I made it to work this Tuesday in May. I couldn’t bring myself to make it to work on Monday. Sadly, two other coworkers were also out. So, my poor unfortunates that did make it to work had a lot on their plate. So, I do have a little guilt that I left them with so much to do. It is also fitting that our quality inspection would come after a night void of the necessary employees to clean. I don’t have guilt over that because I believe that our inspection policy is ridiculous and overbearing.
Though the two employees that made it to work yesterday did as much as they could, they certainly didn’t have the time to vacuum the carpeted areas. I don’t blame them at all. Two can only do so much, so I don’t begrudge them at all. The point is that by the time I could get my machine to the fibers these spaces were an absolute mess. Really disgraceful!
I don’t understand the need to leave such a mess. Is life so frustrating that one must scatter bits of paper and trash all over a classroom? Also, why aren’t these teachers ensuring that their space is free of debris? Why are they leaving that up for me? These questions make me feel like I’m lazy, I might be. I’m tired of dealing with extra work for the lack of structure from those that have the power to suppress the rudeness from the rabble.
In other news I’m choosing to express myself with pink hues this week. I’ve been utterly teal for weeks which is my signature of course, but it helps my mood when I switch things up. I may not have the skills to do really elaborate makeup looks, except I do my best efforts to showcase my natural aesthetics. Whether it's teal or some other vibrant color. I’m still a fantastic fairy.
Day Three Hundred & Seventy-two: 5/8/2024
I suppose I could say that today was better than yesterday. At least I found the areas better today than I did yesterday. Was it ideal? Of course not, but one must take the wins when they can find them. I don’t feel like a winner, but a win is a win I suppose. Lately it feels like I’m not winning at anything.
For the last few years I’ve experienced so many setbacks and rejections. An accumulation of events have made me question my ability to have a win. Will my future continue to be a set of disappointments? Life is short and long simultaneously, but I don’t want my days to come to an end and still feel like a loser. Do you think I look like a loser?
The one thing that I feel like I have control over is how I appear. It’s my choice to present myself as The Teal Fairy. It’s within my control on how I do my hair, my makeup, my nails, and especially the outfit. I would choose to wear other clothes but since I’m dealing with substances that can leave stains. I prefer that my wardrobe not be damaged by a profession that I have resentment for.
I know that it is in my control that I have a job, but I’ve been actively trying to find another one. I haven’t had any luck. I feel like I’m locked in this job that doesn’t provide me any fulfillment. The only joy that I receive is when I finish doing my look for the day and I’m appeased by what I see in the mirror. If it inspires others, then good. I haven’t been feeling very inspiring for myself.
Day Three Hundred & Seventy-three: 5/9/2024
I think it’s very telling when the students know that you’re over this job. It’s not like I’m screaming in the hallways that I want to quit, but I suppose it’s all over my face. The disgruntled custodian can’t hide the disappointment from their face, apparently. I’m aware of this because one of the kind students that talks to me like a person asked if I was looking for another job. I quote, “you seem like you don’t really like this job.” She’s very intuitive, wise words from an astute young woman.
I started my day feeling very disgruntled too. I went out after work last night and I had a fabulous time. It was great, but when the reality set in that I was going to have to come to this job I sunk into the depths of my depression that continues to linger. I need to make more money and there’s no way to advance my income in this current job.
I completed my tasks today, with as minimal grunting and agitation that I could manage. There’s plenty of reason to. There’s always something going on and disturbances that make my job harder when there are performers running around as if this school is their personal playground. I’m no exception to bad behavior too.
I was tempted and I acted out when I shouldn’t have. I saw that the band hall was open. I went to check that there wasn’t anyone in there when I saw a very clean and new french horn sitting out. I played all through my school days and it's been about twenty years since my lips touched the metal mouthpiece. I couldn’t resist and I placed my hands around the brass instrument. With only a minimal amount of muscle memory I was able to play a few notes. It was brief, but it was enough to capture the attention of some of the musicians that were performing tonight. I asked them to keep it secret because I wasn’t supposed to do that. I know better, but the temptation of touching a horn that once was a part of my appendages was too much to bare.
I generally try to capture a picture of myself while I’m working, but since I didn’t have a chance or couldn’t find the right moment to take a snapshot of my routine. I'm left with what you see. The picture posted to this blog post is me sitting in front of the computer before the end of the shift. Not my best angle! At least tomorrow is Friday. I’m always grateful that I have the weekends to myself. I will take any perk that comes with this profession.
Day Three Hundred & Seventy-four: 5/10/2024
Is this retribution for calling out Monday? We are extremely short staffed today. At least there is someone else with me tonight. It’s only happened once where I was on my own, and that was awful. Tonight, just like Monday there are only two custodians responsible for ensuring the entire building is clean and free of debris. We have events and the building is going to be full. It may only be a four day work week for me, but it’s ending with such a strain.
We finished with a little time to spare. Though, we did exclude a few tasks because there was too much for only two people to do. However, the tasks that were put before us were completed. Were they done at the utmost perfection. I don’t think so, but I did my best. I didn’t take my usual downtime that I’m able to enjoy when we have appropriate staff. So, that meant that I pushed through and only took my approved breaks when it was necessary. How boring! Though, I did manage to capture a few different shots of my appearance today. I loved my smoky eye makeup. I hadn't tried this technique and I felt extremely pretty in pink. I will take that as a win, if I can.
I’m glad that my day is almost done and I can say that I won’t see the inside of the building for forty-eight hours. In that time I’d like to say that I’ll be living a luxurious life, but I don’t know if that will be the case. I’ll enjoy my time off that will be for sure. Until next week, this fairy is on break from the frustrations from my profession.
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