Day One Hundred & Thirteen: 3/6/2023
Well, instead of using my spare time to work on my short stories, I took the effort to speak with a few coworkers. It felt good, it felt right at the moment. These brief junctures allowed me to connect and reconnect with fellow like minded folks. I generally revel in my lack of communication throughout a shift. If I don’t have to talk to others, I don’t really want to. Except, there are now a handful of folks that I want to hear about their lives and vice versa. It makes the whole process of work more enjoyable.
I’m hoping this work week will be tolerable. It's pretty quiet on the activity front, so less likely to have prepubescents running around the halls after school let’s out. I’m keeping the bar pretty low since I’ve seen some sheer stupidity from those when they think no one is paying attention. I’m also hoping that I don’t have to get onto anyone. Really! Let me just flutter around and I’ll keep the spaces tidy. I’d say clean, but I need these kiddos to properly pick up after themselves. I don’t care if you don’t pick up after yourself at home, but this is an institution. Show some respect, please. I’m not really asking for that much. At least I don’t think I am.
Day One Hundred & Fourteen: 3/7/2023
Oh, how I love payday!!!
I’m not making a ton of money. In fact this is the least amount of money I’ve made in over a decade. I took a major pay cut to pursue my dream. It isn’t easy, but knowing that I’ll have the funds to pay my bills and especially my rent gives me a sense of contentment. Living expenses are much higher than they used to be. Though, I’ve lived in three different states at this point. It's all varied based on my zip code.
I’m working towards the ability to work fulltime on projects that I desire, dreaming without constraints, and no longer relying on a boss to tell me what to do. I joke that I’m trying to get paid by the school without showing up. Although, is that really a joke? I haven’t figured out how to do that just yet.
I’m actively working on my short stories. A fellow artist friend, Aimee, suggested that I start including snippets of my short stories in my weekly blog. I suppose that makes sense since I’m The Teal Fairy and I’m writing a collection of short stories called, The Teal Fairy Fables. So, below is the snippet from this week.
Nymph, of the woodland variety, was interrogated and recorded by The Teal Fairy 20 December 1911, Aokigahara Forest, Japan. It had come to our attention that there were a large number of incidents involving humans inside and around this lush forest. It took many days to track and eventually persuade the nymph, named Morana, to divulge their participation in malice against humankind. This is her story.
La sigh.
La regret.
Lamentation is the only emotion that lingers within me. It’s a cold wintery tundra that lies inside. I can no longer be what others have wanted me to be. No longer can I pretend. No longer shall I wear a mask of falsehood.
Satyrs want a good time with a nymph, but the moment there is a sign complication, they dart for the woodland hills. Watching your lover run as if their life depended on their speed is the most depressing image that lingers in my heart. I miss them so much. I don’t say that my world revolved around them, but their presence brightened my day. They were the reason I had the ability to smile even when the winds of change shifted course.
So sad to survive without my sexy satyr.
Each time that I’ve allowed my heart to fall for another, I’ve been mistaken by their words. Their actions have led me astray so many times. I can’t skip or be merry in the meadows much more. The melancholia is making me morose.
Day One Hundred & Fifteen: 3/8/2023
Instead of spending time writing I took my extra time to have a power nap. I’m talking about forty-five minutes total in an eight hour shift. I have a brief break between vacuuming and cleaning bathrooms. It has become sort of a routine for me, I find a quiet space and I rest my mind for a bit. I’m not trying to be lazy, but between the work and the writing I need to just let my brain settle for a few minutes.
I think everyone should do the same everyday. I feel refreshed when I allow myself forty-five minutes to settle. Literally, its what I tell myself when I shut my eyes, set an alarm and I let my body settle onto the surface that my backside is touching. Slowly, I drift into the back of my mind. I allow for the thoughts of the day to drift into the tide of emotions and ideas to wash over. Sometimes I surprise myself with a little snore. I don’t ever feel like I’ve fallen asleep, but I feel rested. Available to tackle the rest of my responsibilities without complaint. Even when I have the right to complain.
I clean the toughest part of the school. My bathrooms have the most foot traffic and these thirteen and fourteen year olds really abuse the area. It’s as if they take out their hormonal frustrations out on the carpet, trash bins, and toilets. There’s also a lack of respect. There are not supposed to be ANY food or liquids in the library. Except, EVERY SINGLE DAY I’m dumping food out of the trash receptacles. Tonight, I found food wrappers scattered around the space. So, instead of throwing them away. I placed them on top of the bookshelves so those can see what is left behind. If these teenagers are going to be insensitive to the space then I’m going to start being petty.
Suck it!
Day One Hundred & Sixteen: 3/9/2023
As I’m stuck in the building I feel like I’m missing out on life, but as I was sweeping upstairs the sun had shifted just perfectly. There were no clouds in the sky to obstruct the rays and the setting sun reflected beautifully on the waxed floors. It was somewhat blinding and ethereal simultaneously. I don’t always get to see the sunset, but I’ll take these moments when they present themselves.
Today I had a very candid conversation with some of the teachers. Discussing the kids. Their struggles of being young adults, their inability to handle the concept of picking up after themselves, and their overall privilege. Since I don’t interact with them directly, I rely on others to keep me up to date on the complexities of being a contemporary teenager. I may hate how time has ravaged my youthful looks, but I don’t admire kids today. I’m jealous that I didn’t have the opportunity to go to a school like this. I’m not envious of them. I had to live through puberty once, I’d never do it again
Day One Hundred & Seventeen: 3/10/23
Spring fling was in swing. The whole school had a spring dance. The middle schoolers had the first two hours and the high school partied into the evening. The younger group definitely had a good time. I was surprised that they were jamming out to ballads from over ten years ago. Katy Perry and Lady Gaga respectfully. Then, the entire masses exploded when “Let it Go” from Frozen began to play. The DJ definitely knew their audience.
I did hear that there was a little incident. Apparently, a seventh grader brought bourbon to the dance. Now, I don’t condone underage drinking. but I also have a past. I think that age should NEVER be accessing alcohol. Except, they have good taste. I wish I could have gotten my hands on that treat.
The last wonderful thing of the night is that a student exclaimed, "I love you!" I replied, "Thank you!" I wish I knew the student, then maybe I could have responded the same sincerity. However, I don't so I responded like a girl being flattered by a boy overly infatuated with them.
At least they love me!
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