I’m currently working as a custodian for The Denver School of the Arts. I’ve been chronicling my experiences through social media and this blog post. I put a lot of my own complaints and frustrations down, primarily to accurately portray my true experiences. No filter. There are good days of course. One day, this could be sort of a memoir.
I refer to myself as The Teal Fairy because this is a character that I’ve created. I hope to one day write about The Teal Fairy going back to school to protect those that have the potential to grow and flourish. Schools need more fairies over firearms to ensure the safety of the youth. I also use The Teal Fairy persona as my way of expressing myself creatively outside of the written word.
Thank you for joining me on this journey!
Day Three Hundred & Sixty-three: 4/22/2024
I get silently furious when I see the sinks the way I found it today. I spent a good amount of time during the winter break to ensure that there wasn’t a single spot of paint. These sinks are for hand washing only. They aren’t a dumping station, especially not the place for paint. How rude is this!? Seriously, it’s fucking rude!
I get so much anxiety when I’m on my way to work on Monday, because I’m always concerned that I’m going to walk into something that is going to make me angry. I honestly didn’t think I was going to do this job for long. I thought that through my efforts online I would gain a following big enough to cease my need for a fulltime job. I’m trying to make my writing a fulltime profession. Not cleaning up after teenagers.
For the last month I haven’t been writing, other than this blog. I’ve spent so much time and effort trying to make my writing a thing, but nothing. I’m at a point where I don’t know what else to do. I’ve tried literary contests, querying literary agents, and even applied to graduate school. All to no avail. What’s next? Asking for myself.
Day Three Hundred & Sixty-four: 4/23/2024
I wish I could say that I had a good day. I made it through, but I felt challenged, and I’m not looking to be challenged in my current profession. I suppose there are some things that I can’t avoid. More than anything, I despise outside work. Today I had to pull weeds. It was only for about an hour, but that is an hour too long for me. I’m willing to clean up bodily fluids and substances, but if I never have to work outside, I’ll be a happy camper. Except, I don’t have a choice when it’s mandated by the boss.
The rest of the day had their challenges, which I’ve overcome thankfully. Don’t get me wrong, I took a little break to rest my mind. Granted, I rely on this downtime to ensure that I’m not entirely indigent of my job. I’m fortunate that I can complete my tasks in a reasonable time to allow for such sloth like behavior. It keeps me sane.
Day Three Hundred & Sixty-five: 4/24/2024
My mini vacation (Thurs-Sun) starts the moment that I clock out, though I’m sitting here typing away forty-five minutes before that time. I don’t feel free from the confines of my employer until I’ve scanned my badge on the electrical scanner that confirms my clock in and clock out times. I’ll be a free in a matter of minutes. I won’t be returning until the following Monday. I call it a mini vacation because I’m only using two days of paid time off. Not to be confused with a full week’s paid time off, which is more enjoyable, but I limit the number of frivolous vacations a quarter. One only has a finite number of days to use, thus I try to extend my breaks as far away from each other as I can. Though, it is ironic that I took a week off only four weeks ago. Thus, this fairy will only be on a brief vacation through the end of the week leading into the beginning of next week.
Since this week is short I will be including this set of blogs posts with the next week. I don’t see the point to ask a few to read a short list of complaints when there is a possibility that there will be much more intriguing details in the following week. I can’t pretend that there will be. It could be a set of humdrum days lined up next to each other that only bring forth boredom when others read about it. I could only hope that grand fantastical events occur. Except I doubt it, lately life hasn’t been that thrilling.
Day Three Hundred & Sixty-six: 4/29/2024
I wish I could say that I’m glad to be back, but my trip was so relaxing and emotionally fulfilling that coming back was such a challenge. Though I made it to work on time I felt like my mind, body, and soul was somewhere else. Somewhere far away from the annoyances that come with being a custodian to teenagers.
I struggle with the fact that I have to clean up after them because I feel like there are so many jerks that decide to make a mess for the sake of making a mess. They have such little control over their own lives that their only way of rebelling is to leave a mess for me. I understand the angst and frustrations of being a teenager, but again…this is a FUCKING ART SCHOOL!
I should be seeing privileged students appreciating their space but instead I have to deal with paint being splattered all over the bathroom. For what reason? What activities were being done that one must then splatter paint all over the floor, walls, and sink?
At least I get my downtime. I took it too. I should probably be doing extra work to beautify my space since we are waiting for our inspection, but I didn’t want to today. I wanted to shut my eyes and imagine that I was somewhere else. Somewhere far away from this institution. Even if it’s only for fifteen minutes. I get to be someone else somewhere else. It brings me peace when all I want to do sometimes scream.
Day Three Hundred & Sixty-seven: 4/30/2024
Once upon a time there was a little fairy that felt disillusioned by the efforts of others. They removed themselves from all society and became a recluse. Until, it had become clear that the human race could not handle the responsibility of keeping their young ones safe. Those in power then pleaded with the fairy to forfeit their retirement to help the magical community at large. Those with guns don’t just hurt their own kind, they also kill others. Especially fledglings that have yet to discover their powers. It might be trivial, but the presence of a fairy keeps those with firearms at bay. For the special ones to flourish we need more fairies over firearms in schools.
This is my idea for another book. One that I’ve been trying to capture with my blog and social media posts. I have this idea to create a graphic novel using a variety of artists to capture the innocence of childhood and angst of the teenage years. I believe that I could capture the realities of being a custodian, but make it magical. It’s in the works.
In the meantime I’m just trying to get through each day. I’m feeling unsatisfied in my current profession and without my creative endeavors I feel at a loss. I’m not currently working on a particular story, so I’m drudging through the muck of life with heavy shoes. I’m feeling emotional because I’m lacking the hope that dreams bring. I believe that we must dream big, but what happens when you can’t bring yourself to dream a simple dream?
Day Three Hundred & Sixty-eight: 5/1/2024
I really need to be kinder. Each time that some random person asks me to do something I have such a negative attitude. I don’t entirely understand why I show such indignation, but I do. I’m entirely unhappy with my life and I’m inadvertently taking out on others. It’s not their fault, necessarily.
Lately, I’ve been trying to focus on what I have control over. So many things in my life have been completely out of my constraints, but there is still so much that I have actual control over. One of those things is expressing kindness to others. Perhaps showing more acts of kindness will bring forth more fortune or at least additional kindness my way.
Life is a complicated thing. We work, we struggle, we love, and then we die. So much can happen in one day and I know that it is up to us individually to change our fates. However, I believe that some of our fates are sealed to an extent. Do we have enough power to change the ways of the universe?
Right now, I’m trying to figure out what to do to improve my future. Only, I’m only managing one day at a time. I’m not some recovering alcoholic, but I’m recovering from my own grief. My own disappointment pulls me down as if I’m sinking in a body of water with my hands and feet tied. The one aspect that seems to keep me breathing are my looks. If I can look pretty, does it matter that I’m crying on the inside?
Day Three Hundred & Sixty-nine: 5/2/2024
I’m ending the night with such a headache. It has been a day full of nuisances! I really do despise any day that I have to do any landscaping work. Even though it was only thirty minutes, I didn't want to do it. I feel gross throughout my shift and I’m already going to deal with toilets, so I’d rather not feel grimey from gasoline and dirt before I have to do all that I have to do.
That was the start of my day and I don’t feel like it ever really improved. Every aspect of my job had challenges. All throughout the day there were people roaming around the hallways. Messing with our machines as if they were their personal toys. Even my vacuuming had me fuming.
I said I wasn’t going to drink tonight, but I tell you I’m very tempted. I’m sitting and typing this with only minutes to spare. Don’t get me wrong, I still had a little bit of downtime, but was it worth all of the frustrations that came along with it? Seriously, is it?
Day Three Hundred & Seventy: 5/3/2024
Oh! What a day. Actually, what an absolutely exhausting week. I’m anguished by all of the events. Perhaps, I shouldn’t feel this way. Kids are just being kids, but it was so frustrating. I really hated that my annoyances were projected in such a way. I wish I was the jolly fairy that I feel is inside me, but when the kids are doing things they shouldn’t I get so MAD! Their actions turn this fairy into an absolute troll.
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