Day Forty-Eight: 11/7/2022
Today was much better than the last day I worked. I’m proud of myself for showing up after the horrible week before. We are still short staffed, but as long as no one stuffs a T-shirt into a toilet, life shouldn’t be so bad. It’s fall so there is a need to clean up dried up grass, fallen leaves, and of course dirt. Since the holiday fueled by sugar treats is over, there are much less discarded wrappers to deal with.
Day Forty-Nine: 11/9/2022
I thought the last two weeks were my personal hell, but I had no clue. My companion, my familiar is not well. His attitude and personality is still intact. Yet, he’s dying on the inside. This blog is supposed to be about my experiences as I try to find my footing as a writer. As an author, as a novelist. Except, this week my only goal each day is to make it to work. I say work only because this is the only way that I’m making money to keep my apartment, which I hate. I’m extremely unhappy and the one stable variable is in jeopardy. I’m in constant contact with my dog’s veterinarian, but unless I can find financial assistance, my companion will have to be laid to rest. I don’t want him to suffer, but I don’t want to snuff out any time that he might have left.
At least the school was tolerable to clean. I actually received some kind notes from 8th grade Language Arts students. I needed these notes. A few kind students showed their gratitude for my service to the school. Very much appreciated during a time that I need to feel validated. I’ve cried in every room and hallway of the school the last few weeks.
Day Fifty: 11/10/2022
I made it work! I’m glad I did because today I received a card. A personally decorated piece of paper that means so much to me. A kind counselor organized some students and faculty to give me some much needed encouragement. I needed this so very much. The last few months have made me feel very lonely, and when I lose my little friend, I’ll be completely devastated. I’m appreciative of the kindness that some have shown me. I’m having some difficulties being kind to myself, so others doing that for me, has been necessary. I’m still surprised that I’ve been able to pull myself out of the bed. Except, the two things that I absolutely have to do is continue showing up to my job and continue to pay my rent. My life won’t be completely destroyed as long as I keep my apartment and job.
Day Fifty-One: 11/11/2022
I’m accepting all of the support and kindness from others. I don’t want to burden others with my pain, but I’m grateful I can discuss my struggles with a few coworkers. I've been weeping all week. My face is exhausted from the strain.
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